Us humans, we are wired to connect.
When we don’t feel like we connect or belong we experience pain!

Neuroscientists call this 'Social Pain'. The feeling of exclusion, rejection, isolation. What we know from research on the brain is that the same part of our brain that activates when we experience physical pain, lights up, when we experience social pain. 

Social Pain is Real Pain.  

So luckily for us, we are more connected than ever! Or are we? 
In a recent survey, 

how technology & social media affect people

  • 61% said they cannot ignore their device and must check it within an hour of an alert
  • 61% feel admitted to feeling, sad or jealous when checking their social media
  • 81% admitted to interrupting chats, mealtime, playtime with loved ones to check their devices

This isn’t connection, this is interruption!  

We can all be guilty of falling into these technology traps which act as connection killers. Technology ain’t going anywhere - it’s just getting faster, sleeker and more readily available. So, the question is not how do we disconnect to reconnect?  Rather, how do we co-connect?  

How do we utilise human and digital interactions to forge greater value & deeper connections? 

A few weeks ago at the annual PA Summit in Auckland, I proudly launched my new keynote The Science of Connection where I explored these exact questions. One key part of the connection formula is to: Boost Belonging!  

Ask yourself;  How can I make this person feel like they belong, that I care? Don’t assume people know, show you care:

  • Be curious, ask more than you tell
  • Listen, and show that you are listening
  • Say ‘Hello’ to everyone in the office
  • Learn something special about the other person & remember it
  • Shout someone a coffee
  • Write a handwritten card with our Connection Card 
  • Use technology to reinforce, not replace, human interactions by sending a quick text, email

None of us want to be accidentally psychologically punching our colleagues or loved ones (without even knowing it).
As different as we are, we are more alike than we think. 

Stay tuned for my next few posts where I will share more components of the connection formula to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections both personally & professionally.


BLYTHE ROWE & Her Life on Heels.

The founder & director of Human Incite, is widely recognised for her passion, energy and her ability to shake things up. Blythe is brilliant at revving-up productivity & performance in organisations. Her passion made her to be an advocate in creating sustainable behavioural changes & creating meaningful relationships both personally and professionally with her most recent Keynote Science of Connection. Her enthusiasm simply is infectious.

Connect with Blythe