I was recently in Darwin when one of my fab clients, Scott, told a story that I’d love to share.

He explained there was a Contractor who he was having real trouble connecting with. The contractor's performance was pretty crappy so Scott seemed to always be the bearer of bad news, souring the relationship somewhat. He then explained one day, the contractor went over & above & really impressed him. Scott decided to write an email to the boss, providing positive feedback on the contractor’s awesome performance.

Then Scott said, rather surprised, “Blythe this stuff really works!”. When I asked what he meant, he explained

“Well a month later when the contractor came in, not only did he say
‘thanks so much mate for the email you sent my boss! Not only did I get awarded employee of the month, he gave me a $500 gift voucher’ and with that the contractor gave me a case a beer to show his Thanks!”


It was a win, win, win all around.   

See, that’s how us humans are wired, we want to reciprocate. A gratitude study found that a thank you email doubled the number of people willing to help in the future because they appreciated being needed & felt more socially valued when they’d been thanked.

So the next part of the connection formula is to GIVE MORE:

  • Give more thanks, recognition & appreciation.
    A simple thank you, a pat on the back, an email, a handwritten card, shout a coffee. It’s the little things that count.

  • Give more of you.
    Who you really are. People connect when they know you are being real, that you trust them with the real you warts & all. Yes it’s risky, I get that, but the ROR (return on relationships) is exponential.

  • Give more of the behaviour you want more of!
    If you want people to be optimistic, you need to be optimistic first. If you want people show respect, then you need to give respect first. If you want people to take accountability you need to role model accountability first.  

  • Give more value before you expect something from someone.
    Make an introduction, be generous with your time, your opinion, your help. Give value first, before you ask for something in return.

If we want to make meaningful connections, we gotta be prepared to GIVE MORE first!


BLYTHE ROWE & Her Life on Heels.

The founder & director of Human Incite, is widely recognised for her passion, energy and her ability to shake things up. Blythe is brilliant at revving-up productivity & performance in organisations. Her passion made her to be an advocate in creating sustainable behavioural changes & creating meaningful relationships both personally and professionally with her most recent Keynote Science of Connection. Her enthusiasm simply is infectious.

Connect with Blythe