Introducing John, a Senior Finance Manager of a Local Government Council (& a former coaching client of mine).
John was brilliant technically at his job, but his team hated him (slight issue). There was no trust, no relationship & consequently, the team’s results were on the decline & FAST!
John needs to sort out his “people skills” or John won’t have a job. NO PRESSURE!!
Long story short, when I met John, whilst a great bloke, he was very closed, business-like & very black & white. John was not into the idle chit chat. So you can imagine he struggled somewhat with my very open, casual & curious nature. But I persisted and after a little while, John started to open up. He even shared some personal stuff with me, namely that his wife was very ill.
It was at this stage that John started to tear up (gentleman, can I tell you - you think it’s tough with us chicks cry, I can assure you it’s way more awkward when a grown man cries!) Yet it was exactly what John needed, permission to be himself, to be real. When I asked him how his team felt about this, he looked at me blank, shocked “well of course they don’t know anything about my wife. In fact, they don’t know anything about my personal life, I am their boss!”
A Ha… BINGO. And here we have it.
John, whilst technically very competent, he also appears superhuman to his team. They have nothing in common (like attracts like remember - back to part 1 of the Connection formula: Seek Similarities).
So my challenge to John as I left him, was to share something personal about himself with his team. To give a little: of the real him (warts and all).
Of course I never really knew if John would do this. Fast forward eight months down the track when I ran into his GM, Paul in Sydney at a conference. Paul came running up,
“Oh Blythe, I’ve been meaning to ask you, what did you do to John?” Dumbfounded I said “what? what do you mean?” Paul replies “I don’t know what you did, but he is a different bloke. His team love him, they are kicking goals… I want to know what you did!”
Well of course I didn’t do anything. John did.
He opened up, he gave a little piece of him to his team and as a result he started to connect for the first time.
Part Three of the my five part Connection Formula is to GIVE GENEROUSLY - Open your heart. Here are some simple ways we can GIVE GENEROUSLY:
- give more of the real YOU: share something personal
- give more help, advice & value
- give more thanks & appreciation
- give more compliments
- give more smiles & positive energy
- give more quality time
- give more of the behaviour you want to see more of
This time next week I will be in Cambodia connecting, sharing, learning and giving back to the beautiful Cambodian community together with the About my Brain Team & the non for profit RAWImpact.
We will be building housing for those in greater need than us.
Can you believe for $3,000 we can build an entire house for a Cambodian family! Amazing. If you feel inclined at all to assist us in any way to help with our mission to GIVE GENEROUSLY, I have set up an EVERYDAY HERO account here in an attempt to raise the $3,000.
Any contribution would be amazing. Thanks so much in advance.
I can’t wait to share with you soon what I learn through this incredible opportunity to GIVE GENEROUSLY and ultimately CONNECT!
Watch this space!
BLYTHE ROWE & Her Life on Heels.
The founder & director of Human Incite, is widely recognised for her passion, energy and her ability to shake things up. Blythe is brilliant at revving-up productivity & performance in organisations. Her passion made her to be an advocate in creating sustainable behavioural changes & creating meaningful relationships both personally and professionally with her most recent Keynote 'Science of Connection'. Her enthusiasm simply is infectious.
Make a difference with RAW Impact
RAW Impact is a registered non profit organisation in Cambodia. In Australia, we are partnered with Global Development Group (GDG) who help us deliver quality aid and development projects.
RAW Impact runs on volunteer power and they support sustainable and innovative projects with a hand-up model, focusing on simple yet powerful ways to change the game for the poorest of the poor by equipping and inspiring them forward.
So, give generously and let's make a difference!